Tuna Salad
March 20th

So if you haven’t already caught it – get on over to yahoo and check out the new Pirates of The Caribbean trailer. It’s not bad. Chow Yun Fat looks pretty mean, and I wonder why the Black Pearl will be sailing sand dunes.

Anyhow, I’ll be in line on the 25th.

By the way, any of you know about the San Mateo pirate? He plunders bus stops… I seen him with me own eyes.

Catch up on the trilogy:

GUMBALL (0) SIGHTS & SOUNDS
March 19th

Want to go to jail real quick? Easy, walk over to a jail parking lot and smash the windows in a cop cruiser. That’s what this guy in Florida did; he drove into the jail parking lot, parked right next to a patrol car, got out a tire iron and went to town. Now whether or not he really wanted to go to jail is still up for debate, but this guy clearly has WINNER written all over him.

The cops charged him with “Criminal Mischief.” Ha.

GUMBALL (0) RANDOM MADNESS
March 18th

Nothing like a slow roast pork for fuel. Found a killer recipe. Enjoy!

Slow Cooked Pork
Get yourself a good ‘ol pork shoulder (usually on sale)
Rub it down and plop it in a roasting pan, then cover with tinfoil and put it in the oven for 6-8 hours at 275 degrees. Generally you want to cook it until it falls apart. Serve on some sort of roll with bbq sauce and honey or throw some in a stew.

The Rub
(makes a large batch you can store and use over and over-good for 3 months)
1 1/4 cups brown sugar, firmly packed
2/3 cup granulated sugar
3 tablespoons coarsely ground black pepper
2 tablespoons kosher salt OR 1 tablespoon salt
2 tablespoons ground ginger
4 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
4 1/2 teaspoons onion salt
1 tablespoon dry mustard
1 1/2 teaspoons crushed red pepper (cayenne)
1 1/2 teaspoons ground red pepper (cayenne)
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
3/4 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed

I’m drooling.

GUMBALL (0) EDIBLES

And get sterilized for free. I bet Fernando Cruz is thinking about a career change. The guy is a matador at the Valencia bullring in Madrid (at least, I think it’s in Madrid).

During Tuesday’s corrida, Fernando got gored in the lunchbox twice, tearing through both nuts and into his thigh. Wow, my appetite is gone. Amazingly, the doctor’s there were able to patch him up, and he’ll be able to fight and breed again!

Here’s the statement:
“Fernando Cruz is suffering from two horn wounds of 25 centimeters in length each. One involves the fibers of the abductor muscle and dissects the femoral artery, the other involves the scrotal area and eviscerates both testicles.”

That’ll sure bring down your Tuesday.

GUMBALL (1) REAL NEWS

I’ve been looking for tunes like this for a while. Straight up raw blues with nothing but organs and drums. I’m a fan of Scott Biram, so when I heard he was touring with the heavies, I search the net to check them out. I can’t even explain how good they are. It’s hard to believe this much sound can come from these two cats (John Wesley Myers & Van Campbell). Everytime I throw their record on, I have to pay close attention to my speakers to make sure they don’t catch fire and disintegrate.

Now, my neighbors on the other hand probably hate the record, simply because it shakes their house apart whenever I play it. Anyhow, listen to these guys when you get a chance. If you dig raw vocals, deep sound and rock n roll, pick it up.

The BLACK DIAMOND HEAVIES.

on myspace.

GUMBALL (1) SIGHTS & SOUNDS
March 12th

You gotta love China – one of the only countries to let something like this happen (photo).

Apparently, this guy’s neighbor bought up all of the land around his place to build some sort of strip mall or something. Of course, the last building owner there didn’t want to move, and an argue has been raging since. While these two land owners sort out their argument, the neighbor went ahead and started excavating around the building to get moving on his own plans.

That house sits 40 feet up in the air and has become it’s own little island. He needs to build a rope bridge or something and turn it into a tourist trap.

See the article at metro.co.uk

I’d credit the photographer of the photo, but I have no idea who took it. But whomever did, I credit you!

GUMBALL (5) REAL NEWS

Israeli police investigating why a car was blocking traffic in the fast lane of a major highway Sunday found a couple inside having sex.A police spokesman said the female driver and her male passenger gave in to their passions without pulling over to the side of the road, causing congestion and leaving other motorists having to swerve to dodge their stationary vehicle.

A patrolman gave the woman a ticket for holding up traffic.

GUMBALL (0) EVERYTHING ELSE
February 18th

Please excuse the debris folks, this post is just here to help figure out the layout of the site. HELLBISCUIT is being developed live (and very slowly) so you’ll see a lot of randomness happening.

I am awfully fond of the flaming cannonball man photo though.

GUMBALL (0) EVERYTHING ELSE

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