Tuna Salad
April 11th

I just came across this site, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Anyone heard of the “Paranormal Research Foundation?”

From their site:

“The Paranormal Research Foundation was founded in 1974 in an effort to better understand the mysteries of the afterlife living around us. Dr. James Fisher began the foundation after years of research of the Paranormal and realized that further exploration was terribly important for the human race.

“We know so little of the afterlife, yet have proof that it exists here around us; and interacts with us whether we’re aware of it or not.” – Dr. Fisher, April 28th, 1974

For the majority of the life of the foundation, all research material and documentation has been archived in organized boxes on shelves with the Foundation’s offices. It has just been lately that most of the public information the Foundation releases has been available online.

Please feel free to search our archives and be educated on the Paranormal.

Sincerely,
Dr. James Fisher, Paranormal Research Scientist and Founder”

Sounds like a bunch of crackpots to me.

GUMBALL (2) RANDOM MADNESS
April 5th

Man, this is just gross. Some British dentist (Alan Hutchinson) was found guilty of using his dental tools to clean his fingernails and ears and then using them to work on patient’s teeth.And if that’s not all, his assistant caught him pissing in the surgery sink on multiple occasions.

“He was tucking something into his trousers before zipping them up hastily. I walked over and I was behind him. He moved to the left and I could smell urine,” the nurse said.

For 28 years, this guy has never worn gloves and has been using dirty tools on his patients. If I was one of his patients and heard this, he’d be doing dental work on himself to pull all of his teeth out the back of his head.

GUMBALL (4) BODY
April 3rd

Ah, us poor men and sex. We’re like a bunch of apes, poking around, scratching our noggins, rubbing our butts.

But now there’s hope!

Koenig79 gives us the “40 mistakes men make while having sex with women.”

Some of these are downright hilarious, and I wonder what type of guys would try them in the first place… *cough* #29 *cough.*

GUMBALL (3) BODY
March 30th

Nine Inch Nails is set to release a new record on April 16 in the states, and I’m sure it will be top-notch like all of Trent’s releases. But this album is a little different, reading around the web, it appears it’s a soundtrack to an unmade film that Trent may, or may not be working on (all information was gathered from wikipedia).

“Year Zero” is about the future; fifteen years in to be exact. The album could be about the end of the world, or just a major shift in direction. Either way, it sounds very intriguing, and the current promotion for it is pretty incredible.

All promotional material made for the upcoming release have been filled with subliminal messages and hidden gems to trek through. If you look closely enough, there are about 15 or so websites that have been designed to help promote the album (and movie?), and to allow us to all experience year zero, and hopefully to get up and do something about the world we live in now to make Year Zero (2022) a good one.

You can pre-order the album on iTunes and grab the first track “Survivalism” (which has a great video to boot I might add on yearzero.nin.com).

Experience Year Zero

GUMBALL (0) SIGHTS & SOUNDS

Have you seen these new Volvo ads for the brand spanking new S80? I had to pull my jaw off the floor after watching but 3 of them. Why you ask? Was the car just that cool? With luxury and gizmos and sparkly crap all over it? No! It’s because with this new ad campaign Volvo seems to be catering to a certain demographic of clients – those that have a butt-load of cash but can’t drive themselves out of a paper bag, and shouldn’t even have a license to begin with.

Observe. The new Volvo has a “Blind Spot Information System” that alerts the driver if another vehicle is in their blind spot while changing lanes. The commercial that shows off this feature is of a man driving down the freeway, when suddenly a motorcycle appears in his blind spot. He flips on his turn signal checks his passenger side mirror and begins to merge when the car alerts him that a vehicle is there and he quickly gets back into his own lane. Ah so luxurious, right? WRONG.

What’s the first thing you do when you change lanes? Step one – you flip on your turn signal; step two you check ALL mirrors; and finally step three… YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER. They teach this in driving school and it’s the law to do so. You don’t expect people to get out of your way within a fraction of a second of turning your signal on. So, to sum it all up, the “Blind Spot Information System” is for idiots that are too lazy or stupid to actually look over their shoulder like the law requires.

My second observation, and this covers two commercials. The product here is the all-new “Collision Warning with Brake Support”

First commercial, a couple is speeding somewhere downtown in some city (kind of looks like L.A.), the woman asks the male driver “do you think we can make it before they close,” when a garbage truck appears in the lane in front of them. The car begins to flash a strip of red L.E.D.s alerting you that the vehicle in front of you is too close. They punch the breaks, and switch lanes to avoid the collision. And make it to a hot dog stand minutes before it closes up for the night.

The second commercial is of a businesswoman driving in a residential area with a pile of folders on her passenger seat. As she drives along, one of the folders slides off the seat onto the floor, where she goes to look and contemplates picking it up. Just then, a stopped car appears at a cross walk letting kids cross the road. But luckily, the red lights flash and the car alert her to stop.

Let’s look at commercial one. First off, why in the hell are they speeding in a downtown section of some city? Come on. And why are they so anxious to get to a hot dog stand of all places? This commercial has idiot written all over it. This equipment should be in vehicles aimed at sixteen year olds – not middle age rich Americans! And the second commercial, don’t even get me started. I guess it’s alright to stare at the floor while you drive. Volvo, what are you telling Americans? Your cars can be driven by incompetent drivers? Wow thanks, we definitely need more of them on the road!

I didn’t even get into the forth commercial. A woman walking out to her car in an empty parking lot gets alerted that someone is IN her car. Wow, I guess locking your doors isn’t important either. Volvo; we’ll let killers and rapists in your car, but at least we’ll tell you about it first.

GUMBALL (3) VANITY
March 24th

Home of the weird. There’s some creepy stuff going on at Angry Johnny’s Killville Historical Museum of the Strange. Established in 1894 by Dr. Maurice A. Dalton, the museum is home to such oddities as “Clarence” the Mysterious Killville Pig Boy and the Amazing Killville Two-Headed Turkey.

Also in the museum is proof of the existence of “Toady,” the human frog which has been seen trolling the swamps of Massachusetts.

The museum has been plagued with difficulties in the past, but now after much restoration, has been re-opened online for all of you to check out. It’s weird, it’s odd, it’s from Killville.

p.s. Angry Johnny puts out some good tunes as well…

GUMBALL (0) EVERYTHING ELSE

Via MiamiHerald.com

What’s the most exciting thing to do on a cruise liner besides catching the flu? Well, get hammered on booze and medication and jump ship. Michael Mankamyer did just that. After ordering room service and drinking some booze, he bailed 70 feet off his Carnival Cruise balcony about 30 miles from Port Everglades.

When asked what happened after he began drinking, he responded “I don’t remember much after that. Apparently, the alcohol took over with my medication I was on.”

Soon after a coast guard ship appeared, but wasn’t close enough to see Michael bobbing up and down with the waves.

“As soon as I saw the Coast Guard and I thought I was saved, and they turned around and didn’t see me, it definitely set in that you are in trouble and that you might not make it.”

But, after a few, they found and airlifted him to a nearby hospital. Luckily he only suffered mild hypothermia and was released. Escaping a slot in this year’s Darwin awards.
Well, if Michael is ever caught on a sinking ship, he’s already got some practice under his belt.

GUMBALL (1) REAL NEWS

This is just bizarre. A buddy of mine just forwarded me a link to some creepy russian playgrounds. I wonder how many diapers parents go through when they take their kids to these joints when they soil themselves from fear.

Sheesh, I’d piss myself if I found my way into one of these playgrounds.

GUMBALL (0) RANDOM MADNESS

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