Tuna Salad

The Hellbiscuit Theme is Here!

October 2nd
POSTED or WRITTEN BY GUMBALL in BODY, RANDOM MADNESS, SIGHTS & SOUNDS, SKID MARKS, VANITY

That’s right. It’s been a long time coming, but the theme is ready and free for you all to use. Want to see it? Well, you’re looking at it! (pretty much).

There has been some updates to the theme since it’s been initially built. Actually, MANY updates to clean it up, stream line it and actually make it better that the site here now. Want to give it a test drive?

TAKE ME TO THE HELLBISCUIT DEMO!

Why is it called “Gumball Special?” Well… why not?! I made it for ya, I can name the sucker!

It sports Gravatar, an awesome layout, custom image field thingies and well, just looks plain ‘ol awesome.

Download it here.

Want some extras? You can have all the psd files I used from day one of HB til now.

There you have it. Keep the footer text links at the very least. If you dig the logos, keep them too! Just link back here somehow. There’s a couple readme files in there to help you out. If you get stuck, go to my contact form (I’m giving myself away here) and ask me what’s up. Just make sure you tell me it’s regarding the HELLBISCUIT theme.

Enjoy! If you don’t… go away!


VOLVO – YOU DON’T NEED A LICENSE ANYMORE

March 26th
POSTED or WRITTEN BY GUMBALL in VANITY

Have you seen these new Volvo ads for the brand spanking new S80? I had to pull my jaw off the floor after watching but 3 of them. Why you ask? Was the car just that cool? With luxury and gizmos and sparkly crap all over it? No! It’s because with this new ad campaign Volvo seems to be catering to a certain demographic of clients – those that have a butt-load of cash but can’t drive themselves out of a paper bag, and shouldn’t even have a license to begin with.

Observe. The new Volvo has a “Blind Spot Information System” that alerts the driver if another vehicle is in their blind spot while changing lanes. The commercial that shows off this feature is of a man driving down the freeway, when suddenly a motorcycle appears in his blind spot. He flips on his turn signal checks his passenger side mirror and begins to merge when the car alerts him that a vehicle is there and he quickly gets back into his own lane. Ah so luxurious, right? WRONG.

What’s the first thing you do when you change lanes? Step one – you flip on your turn signal; step two you check ALL mirrors; and finally step three… YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER. They teach this in driving school and it’s the law to do so. You don’t expect people to get out of your way within a fraction of a second of turning your signal on. So, to sum it all up, the “Blind Spot Information System” is for idiots that are too lazy or stupid to actually look over their shoulder like the law requires.

My second observation, and this covers two commercials. The product here is the all-new “Collision Warning with Brake Support”

First commercial, a couple is speeding somewhere downtown in some city (kind of looks like L.A.), the woman asks the male driver “do you think we can make it before they close,” when a garbage truck appears in the lane in front of them. The car begins to flash a strip of red L.E.D.s alerting you that the vehicle in front of you is too close. They punch the breaks, and switch lanes to avoid the collision. And make it to a hot dog stand minutes before it closes up for the night.

The second commercial is of a businesswoman driving in a residential area with a pile of folders on her passenger seat. As she drives along, one of the folders slides off the seat onto the floor, where she goes to look and contemplates picking it up. Just then, a stopped car appears at a cross walk letting kids cross the road. But luckily, the red lights flash and the car alert her to stop.

Let’s look at commercial one. First off, why in the hell are they speeding in a downtown section of some city? Come on. And why are they so anxious to get to a hot dog stand of all places? This commercial has idiot written all over it. This equipment should be in vehicles aimed at sixteen year olds – not middle age rich Americans! And the second commercial, don’t even get me started. I guess it’s alright to stare at the floor while you drive. Volvo, what are you telling Americans? Your cars can be driven by incompetent drivers? Wow thanks, we definitely need more of them on the road!

I didn’t even get into the forth commercial. A woman walking out to her car in an empty parking lot gets alerted that someone is IN her car. Wow, I guess locking your doors isn’t important either. Volvo; we’ll let killers and rapists in your car, but at least we’ll tell you about it first.


BRITNEY IS BALD. WOOPDIE-DOO.

February 17th
POSTED or WRITTEN BY GUMBALL in VANITY

Well the rest of the world is in complete shock, and maybe even horror over Britney’s bald noggin. I think she’s lost it, but I really don’t mind the Ule look. She should bic it and give it a nice coat of wax.